


Puppy Love: McShep Earthside AU

by cheesey_taters



Series: Cop'Verse [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: AU, Established Relationship, F/M, earthside, genderbender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-23
Updated: 2011-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheesey_taters/pseuds/cheesey_taters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A McShep Earthside AU in which John is a cop and Rodney has always been Meredith. John wants a puppy. Meredith does not, but resistance is futile. ~2500 words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puppy Love: McShep Earthside AU

"So," John began thoughtfully. Meredith groaned. She knew that look on his face and it always meant he was going to suggest something that she would not like. He stopped, hands low on his hips and frowned. "Why did you just do that?"

"Do what?"

"Groan like that!"

"For the love of… I didn't do anything. Just tell me what you were going to say."

"I can't tell you now!"

Meredith sighed loudly and sat her latest science journal aside. Nikola, their cat, took it as the invitation it wasn't and jumped up, kneading his paws into Meredith's stomach. She sighed and scratched behind his ears affectionately. "John."

"Well! I just… I hate when you do that! It means you already have your mind made up that you're going to say no and I haven't even asked you!"

Sometimes, Meredith wondered if she married a moody teenager instead of real live grown up. "Would you just ask me please?"

He sighed dramatically and flopped down onto the couch at her feet, staring at her from under his stupidly long lashes. He was pouting, the devious bastard. Whatever it was he wanted, he wanted it bad.

"Just promise you'll hear me out before you say no."

"John," she said again, dangerously close to a whine. Nikola meowed mournfully and John sighed again.

"I think we should get a dog."

"No."

"You didn't even think about it!"

"I don't have to think about it! It's a terrible idea!"

"No it's not! It's a great idea! Just hear me out! First of all, I would feel better about you being here when I'm working the graveyard shift if we had a dog! It'll scare off any intruders!"

"That's what the gun in the nightstand is for," Meredith reminded him.

"You have no idea how to shoot it."

"But I could wave it around scarily enough. John," she sighed, "it's just not a good idea. You're hardly home as it is and I don't have the time nor the desire to look after a huge, slobbery beast. I'm sorry, but the answer is no. Besides, it's not fair to Nik. We had him first and bringing another animal, let alone a _dog_ into the house is going to stress him out. So no."

"But Meredith!"

"I'm not having this discussion," she said, leaning over to grab her discarded journal. She felt his eyes on her but she refused to acknowledge him. She would stand firm on this. She hated dogs.

After a moment, the couch shifted as he stood and he said, "I don't need your permission, you know."

She dropped the journal into her lap, eyes blazing as she glared up at him. "Are you seriously challenging me on this? Do you recall the last time I specifically asked you _not_ to do something and you did it anyway? Do you remember that, John? Is that _really_ something you want to repeat?"

He crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to waver.

She glared back. "We're not getting a dog."

"Well, I say we are. Besides," he groaned, sitting on the edge of the couch, taking her bare feet in his hands. "I can take him running with me too."

"That's what Ronon is for," she said, moaning quietly when he worked her feet over skillfully with his expert hands. "I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. I will not be swayed."

"Ronon doesn't have time to run with me since he started shacking up with Teyla," he said and the little pathetic pout had returned.

"Teyla says they are not shacking up."

"Teyla's a dirty liar," he sighed. "C'mon, Meredith. Please?"

She sighed loudly, throwing her arm over her eyes. She really, really hated dogs. There was nothing worse than an overly excited dog jumping and scratching and licking. But at the same time, John had always proclaimed his extreme dislike for cats and yet he'd surprised her with Nikola three years ago for her birthday.

"I will not be responsible for it," she said after awhile.

"Yes!"

"Hey! Listen to me!" She said, nudging him with her foot. He tried—and failed—to hide the broad grin on his face as he ran his hand over her legs. "I mean it. I am not cleaning up any messes."

"You don't clean up your own messes anyway."

She scowled. "Do you want the thing or not? Because insulting me really isn't the way to go here."

"Right. Sorry," he said. "You won't clean up any messes. Got it."

"And when it chews through up all your ridiculous hair products, you will not whine to me. I'm not feeding it except for the days when you're on the graveyard shift and I'll let it out, but I'm not on poop duty. And John, you _will_ clean the back yard because I have no plans to step in dog crap on my treks outside. Have I made myself clear?"

"I knew there was a reason I married you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. It's not sleeping in the bed either."

"Of course," he agreed, leaning over to press his lips to hers. "You won't regret this."

"I already am," she sighed against him, ignoring Nikola's indignant growl as he hopped down, swishing his tail angrily.

###

John was practically bouncing with excitement as they approached the front doors of the shelter. He'd stopped down earlier in the week and filled out an adoption application and they'd just gotten approved. He was like a little kid at Christmas.

He'd annoyed the crap out of her all morning, rushing her around the house, urging her to hurry and drink her coffee. She thought about sending him down on his own but she didn't trust him to not come back with more than one dog.

"Listen," she said, reaching for his hand as they approached the door, "I don't want anything too big, okay? No… Great Danes or anything like that."

"Meredith," John sighed, rolling his eyes. He tugged on her hand, pulling her to the door. "I already told you I wasn't getting anything huge. Maybe a lab or something. Now can we go please?"

"When did you turn into such a five year old?" She grumbled, allowing herself to be pulled along.

They were greeted immediately by an overly friendly volunteer and led through large double doors to the dog kennels. Some were barking, some were howling and Meredith wondered if this was about to become her life. God, she hoped not.

She stood close to the doorway, hands clasped in front her as John walked the row of dogs, stopping every so often to crouch down and stick his fingers into cages. He really was like a kid when he was like this, she thought fondly.

"Meredith!" He called, waving her over. "C'mere."

She sighed and walked over, doing her best to focus on him. The last thing she wanted was to see the sad, pathetic animals in cages. "What?"

"What do you think about him?" He asked.

Inside the kennel was a black dog, panting happily as John scratched as its ears through the bars. He gave a little yip as Meredith crouched down beside John and as much as she hated to admit it, he was kind of cute. "Is this the one you want?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Hey," she said, nudging him. "There's no 'I think so' about it. Go look at the other ones just to be sure because I swear to God, if you get home and decide this wasn't really the one you wanted, you're sleeping on the couch for a month."

"Would you like to take Bear outside while Mr. Sheppard continues to look?" The volunteer asked. Meredith shrugged.

"Yeah, whatever. And what kind of name is Bear? We can change that, can't we? It's a horrible name. He looks nothing like a bear."

"We do have families change their names," the volunteer said, opening Bear's kennel. He ran out, barking happily and against her will, Meredith found herself smiling. "C'mon, Bear!" The volunteer called, whistling for the dog. He trotted after her happily and Meredith followed, wondering what in the world she was getting herself into.

The volunteer led them out to a small fenced in area. Bear pranced around, barking and yipping every time he ran by Meredith. He was a little more rambunctious than she would have liked, but so damned cute.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What do you think?" John asked as he joined her. He was grinning broadly as they watched the dog run back and forth and Meredith knew their decision was already made.

"Well, the name Bear definitely has to go. And we should probably see if they have tranquilizers or something because he's far too energetic for my taste. But," she sighed dramatically and wrapped her arm around John's, resting her head against his shoulder. "I suppose if we _have_ to get a dog, he's as good as it's gonna get."

###

"You spent more money on the damn dog than you spend on me," Meredith complained loudly as the overly excited dog pulled her up the walkway, panting loudly. John trudged along behind her, loaded down with food, bowls and a ridiculously large bed that the damn thing would probably never even grow in to. It was ridiculous. "You didn't run out and buy all this when we got Nik."

"Nik is a cat," John said. "Cats don't need things like dogs do."

"Hmpf. I think Nik would disagree. Hey!" She snapped, tugging on the leash. "Stop pulling!"

"Meredith, don't yell at him. He's excited."

"He's yanking my arm off," she huffed. "Have I mentioned today how much I hate dogs?"

"Once or twice," John said dryly, slipping past her to slide his key into the lock. "But don't think I didn't see you makin' eyes at him down at the shelter."

"Momentary lapse in judgment," she said, dropping the leash. Bear ran into the house, yipping happily. "He's going to ruin our wooden floors."

"Since when do you care about things like the floors?"

"Since I know that those sharp little claws are going to gouge the hell out of them."

"Aww, c'mon now, stop pickin' on him."

"Fine. But when we can't sell the place for an early retirement because there are gigantic strips gouged out of it, don't come crying to me Mister-I-Had-To-Have-A-Dog." She stepped inside, cringing at the sound of Bear's growl followed by an angry hiss. "Great, now he's traumatizing the cat."

"They're fine. They're just saying hello."

"Uh huh. This is officially the worst idea ever. And when you realize that, I reserve the right to say I told you so."

###

The first week was hell. Bear, more appropriately known as the Worst Idea Ever, had chewed more shoes and ruined more patches of carpet than Meredith wanted to count. He howled all night in his crate and tormented the hell out of Nikola all day. He wouldn't walk on the leash like a normal, well balanced animal and in the first fifteen minutes after Meredith let him out back, he dug under the fence and escaped.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

The worst part was that John was too busy with work to even notice. He went in at eleven at night and didn't get home until sometimes well after nine in the morning, which meant he spent all day sleeping while Meredith dealt with the mutt from hell. More than once, she wondered if she could give Bear to their crazy neighbors without John noticing, but he always seemed to catch her when she was on her way over to offer up their first born if they would just take the damn dog off her hands.

He was driving her insane.

"Listen," she said finally, sitting down on the couch with a dog biscuit in her hand. "We need to come to some sort of an agreement. Because unfortunately, John seems to really like you and it's not worth my marriage to make you disappear, but you're making me lose my mind. I've gotten absolutely no work done all week and it's all your fault." Bear cocked his head and then sniffed at her hand. "Yes, yes. I'll give it to you in a minute if you just promise to stop being so neurotic and lay down for awhile so maybe I can get a little work done. Do we have an agreement?"

Bear yipped and sniffed her hand again, licking gently.

"Okay. I'm going to just lay this right down here," she said, dropping the biscuit onto the carpet beside the couch, "and I want you… No! No, what are you doing?" He'd swallowed the damn treat in less than one bite and then leapt onto the couch, scratching gently at the cushions before he flopped down. One of the stipulations of having a dog was that it was absolutely not allowed on the furniture, but at least he was being quiet so she shrugged, grabbed her laptop and sat back.

It wasn't long before Bear pressed up against her side, laying his big head on her arm.

"I suppose you can stay up here," she said quietly, stroking his soft ears gently. "You're actually kind of cute, you know. When you're being quiet. Just don't tell John I said that, hmm?"

"Tell John what?"

She startled at the sound of his voice, but Bear never even flinched. "Traitor," she hissed. "What are you doing up so early?" She demanded, setting the computer down on the coffee table before she pushed it back far enough that Bear couldn't knock it over.

"Missed my girl this week," he said with a lazy grin. "Looks like you've found yourself a replacement though."

"He's certainly hairy enough to pass as a substitution," she said dryly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Woulda slept better if you'd been with me," he said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. Sinking down beside Bear, he patted his side gently. "Looks like the two of you are bonding quite nicely."

"Oh yes. You have no idea. In fact, we're getting along so well, I may just have to go out and get another just like him."

"Really?"

"No." She sighed and scratched Bear's head lightly. "But I guess he's really not so bad. Sometimes. When he's, you know, not eating my only pair of comfortable heels."

"Or tormenting Nik."

"Or digging holes roughly the size of Ronon in the backyard."

"Still think getting a dog was the worst idea ever?"

She thought about it for a minute. True, Bear was most likely going to drive Meredith to drink and cause John to go prematurely gray, but when he wasn't spazzing out like a dog on crack, he was really quite sweet. Not to mention that damn look on John's face every time he looked at the dog. It was enough to make her melt. "No… I guess not. But ask me next week."

"Deal," he grinned, leaning over to press a kiss to her lips. "You're the best."

"Uh huh. We'll see if you feel the same next week when you and Fido are sharing the couch," she said with no real venom. She sighed, patted Bear on top of his head and settled in on the couch with two of her boys. Nikola was still hiding somewhere, but Meredith had faith that he'd come around sooner or later. Maybe.

Bear lifted his head and growled. The sound was immediately followed by a familiar hiss and a second later, the annoying dog jumped off the couch and shoved his head under the couch, barking and yipping as he tried to reach Nik.

Maybe he _wouldn't_ come around after all.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

 _  
_

 


End file.
